


Switching Teams

by amyanomaly



Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Multi, Paintball
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-11-23
Updated: 2014-12-05
Packaged: 2018-02-26 19:12:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,411
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2663162
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amyanomaly/pseuds/amyanomaly
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Wash leaves the boarding school, Mother of Invention, and attends the public school. He joins their paintball team and tries to whip them into shape. Tucker and Church help him integrate into the Blood Gulch Crew.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

“Just climb the damn fence, Caboose,” Church grits out, one fist clenched and the other rubbing the bridge of his nose.

“But Church, it is very high,” he whines, looking towards the top of the fence. “I don’t want to break a bone because then Doc will give me CPR.”

“What the fuck is he talking about?” Tucker asks, glancing at Church. The vein on Church’s forehead is popping out and his face is starting to turn red. Tucker looks back at Caboose. “Doc isn’t even here, dude.”

“If you don’t climb the goddamn fence I will come over there and strangle you.”

“Caboose you’re like seven feet tall. How are you afraid of heights?” Tucker shakes his head as Caboose grabs onto the chain-link, shaking it.

“If I fall will you promise you won’t let Sarge turn me into half a robot?”

Church sighs. “I fucking promise. Now hurry up. We’ve already been here too long.”

Caboose starts to climb the fence, toes of his sneakers barely fitting into the holes of the chain-link. At the top, he swings his leg over, but doesn’t start climbing down. “Hey I can see my house from here!”

“Hurry the fuck up, Caboose!” Tucker shouts. Church yanks on his hair and grunts in frustration.

“Why the fuck did we bring him?”

Tucker shrugs. “’Cause North’s got a soft spot for him and he was like two seconds from telling everyone we were sneaking onto campus.”

Instead of jumping down the last few feet, Caboose painstakingly continues down the fence like it’s a ladder.

“Were you dropped on your head as a child? Or did you just get this stupid over time?”

Caboose frowns. “That’s not very nice, Church.”

“God fucking dammit.”

“Don’t have an aneurysm, dude,” Tucker says. “At least not before we get inside. Which, by the way, I’m really fucking mad you won’t tell me the code to get in.”

Church just stares at Tucker. “I don’t trust you with the code.”

“Whatever, man. I’m not the one visiting my ex-girlfriend.”

“Yeah, because you don’t have an ex-girlfriend. Or a girlfriend at all. You’ve got fucking Wash.”

Caboose looks between both of his friends. “What are you doing with Washingtub?”

“Shut up, Caboose,” Tucker mutters. “Let’s just go. I’m cold as hell.”

Church starts to walk through the sparsely wooded courtyard, keeping off the lighted path. Behind him, Tucker watches Caboose as he whispers, “Sneaking, sneaking, sneaking.”

“Dude, shut up.”

“I am sneaking, Tucker.”

“You’re not being very sneaky by saying ‘sneaking’ every two seconds.”

“Then how else will you know I’m sneaking?”

“Oh my god, will you guys be fucking quiet?” Church snaps, turning to glare at his friends.

Caboose and Tucker skid to a stop. Tucker sticks his hands into the pocket of his sweatshirt and shrugs, like he’s saying ‘what can you do?’. Caboose digs the toe of his shoe in the dirt, not meeting Church’s gaze.

“Let’s go,” Church says, rolling his eyes once he turns back around. They make it to the main dormitory without anymore bickering and Church enters the code. The light on the keypad flashes green and the door clicks unlocked. Tucker yanks it open and Caboose rushes inside past him.

“Oh no! Miss Texas,” Caboose says, arms wrapped tight around Church’s ex-girlfriend.

“Tex, Caboose. It’s just Tex. And let me go,” she says, voice muffled by Caboose’s jacket. Caboose lets her go and she takes a step back, glaring a little at Caboose. “I was wondering where you guys were.”

“Caboose had an issue with the fence,” Tucker tells her.

“Alright,” she says, tilting her head to the side. “Whatever. Everyone’s been waiting for you losers to show up.”

“Thanks for the love,” Church mutters. They follow her up the stairs and down the hall to the room York and North shared. The door was already propped open and the sound of chanting flowed into the hallway.

“Beat his ass, North!” Someone shouts and then there was a loud thump.

“I think you broke my nose.”

“North and York are wrestling,” Tex explains. They stand in the doorway, not wanting to get too close. The furniture that normally sat in the middle of the room was shoved against the walls and North and York were sprawled out on the rug. York was cradling his nose.

“Don’t be a baby,” South comments, picking at her nails. She sits on the end of North’s bed, one foot propped up on the footboard.

“Seriously, my nose is messed up,” York says.

North sits up and leans towards him. He tries to pull York’s hands away from his face. “If you won’t let me see it, I can’t fix it.”

“Hey guys!” Caboose says. Everyone glances towards them. North smiles up at Caboose, while the rest greet him half-heartedly.

“Where’s Carolina?” Church asks.

Tex shrugs.

“She got detention today,” South says. “She’s still pretty pissed about it.”

Church rolls his eyes. “What’d she do today?”

“She punched me,” Tex says.

“What!?”

“Chick fight, _yes_ ,” Tucker mutters. He pumps his fist in the air.

“It’s fine, Church. I may have said some shitty things to her and she punched me,” Tex explains.

“I don’t even... Why would you... What did you say?” Church asks, skeptical.

“Nothing important. We already talked about it. She’s fine. I’m fine. Now shut up about it.”

Church shakes his head slightly, but walks further into the room and takes a seat on the couch. Caboose sits on the other end and pulls off his sneakers, tossing them towards the door. He tucks his feet underneath him and watches as North presses his fingers against York’s nose.

“Not broken,” North declares.

“Boo,” South says, giving her brother a thumbs down.

Tucker takes a step into the room. “So, uh, where’s Wash?”

“He’s packing up his room,” Tex tells him. “Maine and Connie are supposed to be helping, but I doubt it.”

Tucker nods. “Okay, cool. Well, I’ll just be going then.”

As Tucker disappears out the door, Church says, “The guy thinks he’s not dating Wash.”

 *

 Wash and Maine’s door is cracked and Tucker knocks on it quietly. He hears a drawer being closed and then Wash says, “Come in.”

Tucker pushes open the door and grins. “Hey, Wash.”

“Tucker,” he says and looks up. “Hey.”

Wash’s blonde hair is sticking up in the way that tells Tucker he’s been running his hands through it. He’s either nervous or stressed, or maybe both, considering the guy was leaving the only school he’d ever been to and the only group of people he’d known.

The suitcase Tucker had seen under Wash’s bed before was open on the bed, full of meticulously folded clothes. Tucker wants to mess them up just a little, but he doesn’t want to stress Wash out any more. The few knickknacks Wash had are in a cardboard box, everything breakable wrapped in t-shirts. The only thing left on Wash’s side of the room is a photo of him and the headmaster, after Wash had won an academic award the year before.

“So how’s it going?” Tucker asks, flopping onto Wash’s bed.

Wash shrugs. “It’s fine. I’m pretty much done packing.”

“I can’t believe they’re letting you transfer in the middle of November, dude. Like the semester’s almost over.”

“My grades are pretty good.”

Tucker props himself up on his elbows and says, “So where are you going to live? I thought most of you boarding school kids had families in different states.”

“My parents live just in town. They sent me here because it’s supposed to be better than public school,” Wash explains.

“Shows what they know,” Tucker says. “Isn’t the headmaster a total asshole? I mean, he is Church’s dad.”

Wash chuckles. “The headmaster has his own ideas on what’s really important.”

“And that means?”

“Most of the students that graduate from Mother of Invention join the military in some form. The headmaster is trying to groom us for that. Students who want nothing to do with the military are being left behind and forced to go through ridiculous training that they don’t need.”

Tucker doesn’t say anything for a few moments. He’s known Wash for months now, but he hasn’t heard Wash sound this passionate about anything before.

“So you’re leaving because you don’t want to go into the military?”

Wash turns to look at Tucker. “I’m leaving because I don’t want to be a part of whatever the headmaster is trying to start.”

Tucker opens his mouth to ask what the hell Wash is talking about, but the door slams open and Maine walks in carrying a case of orange soda. Behind him, Connie leans against the doorframe and pops open one of the sodas. She takes a sip and says, “We got you orange soda as a going away gift.”

“Thanks, Connie,” he says. “That’s my favorite.”

“We know,” Maine says, voice low. He places the case of soda on Wash’s dresser and pats him on the back, jostling Wash’s entire body.

“I’m gonna miss you guys,” Wash says.

Connie shrugs. “You’ll see us. Tucker and Church are here almost every weekend so you better come with them.”

“Don’t worry, we’ll drag him along,” Tucker tells her. Connie nods and goes to sit on Maine’s bed. She pulls out her cell phone and starts texting someone. Maine sits next to her, dwarfing her frame and he pulls a laptop out from underneath his pillow.

Wash watches his friends for a few moments before he kneels to close the cardboard box. Tucker stands and stretches. “I’m gonna go see what Church and all them are doing. You comin’ Wash?”

“Yeah,” he says. “I’ll see you guys later.”

Connie waves a hand at him, not looking up from her phone and Maine nods. Tucker follows Wash out the door and he pulls it closed behind Tucker. They get a few feet down the hall before Tucker stops and looks up at Wash. “I don’t really want to go see what Church is doing.”

“What?” Wash asks.

“Come on, dude,” he says and pulls Wash by the arm around the corner.

*

 The movie’s halfway over when Church looks down at his watch and realizes how late it is. He sits up slightly, pushing Tex off of his shoulder and onto South’s, who sits next to her. South makes a face, but she doesn’t put up a fight. North and York are laying on the floor surrounded by pillows, while Caboose is dead asleep on North’s bed, face pressed into the sheets.

“We gotta get back,” Church says. York turns to look at him. “Say hi to Carolina for me, would you?”

“Sure, man,” York says.

Church stands and walks over to Caboose. He shoves at Caboose’s shoulder. “Wake the fuck up, Caboose.”

Caboose makes a muffled noise and tries to burrow into the sheets.

“We have to go now.” He pulls at Caboose’s sweatshirt.

“Okay, Church.” Caboose gets up and rubs his eyes. Church rolls his eyes. Caboose’s hair stands up in all different directions. “Church, where are my shoes? I need my shoes.”

Church sighs, but grabs Caboose’s sneakers. He holds them both out to him, but Caboose only takes one and slowly puts it on, untying the knot and retying it slowly. Church shifts on his feet and breathes in deep. It’s nearly one AM. There’s no reason to be angry with Caboose. The guy is half asleep, Church tries to remind himself.

Finally Caboose gets both his shoes on and they both walk towards the door. “Bye guys!”

“See you later, Caboose,” North says.

Church pushes Caboose through the door and lets it fall shut behind himself. They start walking towards the door when Church says, “We need to find Tucker.”

“He’s probably with Washingtub,” Caboose tells him. “And Wash rooms with Maine. Do you know where their room is?”

“Yeah, come on.”

They walk down the hall and turn the corner to the staircase. Church pushes open the door and immediately hears Tucker’s voice.

“I mean, like, they keep making jokes about us dating and shit,” he says. “I know I make jokes about Church and Tex all the time, but there’s like a history there.”

“Tucker,” Wash says. “What’s it matter?”

“Well, because—”

“Tucker! We’re leaving now!” Caboose calls out and climbs the stairs two at a time to the first landing. Church follows him. From there he can see Tucker leaning against the balcony, with Wash standing in front of him. Tucker turns to look down at them.

 “Okay, I’m coming.” He looks back at Tucker and Church knows Tucker’s shifting on his feet even though he can’t see them. “I’ll see you later then.”

“I’ll be at your school Monday morning,” Wash says. They both stand there for a few silent moments before Church intervenes.

“Yeah, see you then, Wash. We’re _really_ looking forward to it.” He’s only being half sarcastic.

“Bye, Wash,” Caboose says.

Tucker joins them on the lower landing and narrows his eyes at the look Church is giving him.

“What?”

“You gonna give him a kiss goodbye?”

“Oh, fuck you.”


	2. Chapter 2

“We suck,” Grif says, dropping his paintball gun into a resting position.

“Speak for yourself, Red,” Tucker says, popping his head out from behind the rock he hid behind.

“Even playing against our own teammates we can’t win,” he complains. “This is our third tie today!”

“Hey, if teamkills counted, Blue team would have technically won,” Church points out.

“Tucker did it!” Caboose shouts. He trips over a log as he jogs over to stand between Church and Tucker.

“It was you, Caboose. I fucking saw you!”

Caboose shakes his head. He pulls up his mask, giving Church a clear view of his puppy dog eyes. “I didn’t mean to!”

“Dude, you yelled ‘no Church!’ before you even fired,” Tucker points out.

“Whatever, we still all suck. Where’s Sarge when you need him?” Grif pulls his mask off and drops it onto the boulder Tucker had been hiding behind. He pulls himself up onto it and slouches, running a hand through his messy hair. He sighs.

“I’ll go find him,” Simmons volunteers, sliding up next to Tucker.

“No, don’t—” Grif cuts himself off. Simmons is already gone.

“Hey, where the hell is Donut? And Doc? Wasn’t he supposed to be on Blue team today?” Tucker asks.

“Here I am!” Donut exclaims, mask already missing and pink hair rumpled.

“Hey guys!” Doc answers and pops up just a few feet from Donut.

“I don’t want to know,” Church mutters after a few quiet moments.

Barely audible, Tucker says, “Bow chicka bow wow.”

“Goddammit, Tucker.”

“What are you no good savages doing?” Sarge yells as he approaches them, with Simmons close behind him.

“Sir, I’ve tried to tell them we need to develop better strategies, but well. No one’s listened.”

“Kiss ass,” Grif mutters and Simmons shoots him a glare. Grif just blinks and leans back on his elbows.

“Y’all are lucky we’re getting a new member of this shitty team. A guy from our rival team,” Sarge tells them. “His name’s David Washing—”

“He prefers Wash,” Tucker says.

“What? How do you... Why do you know a student who goes to Mother of Invention? Those people are no good, sons of bitches. Them and their yuppie—”

“My father is the headmaster of that school,” Church says.

Sarge stares at Church.

“But I fucking hate the guy so, no worries,” he continues.

“You little—” Sarge cuts himself of. “As I was saying, Wash will be joining our team. And as the shittiest group of paintballers, it is our duty to get him to spill all of MOI’s dirty secrets. So we can use them against them!”

Tucker laughs. “Good luck with that.”

“Yeah, Wash didn’t tell Tucker his first name until after they’d been screwing for two months,” Church says.

“Oh my god,” Tucker exclaims. “We’re not screwing.”

Church and Grif scoff.

“I don’t want to know what in Sam hell you kids are doing in your free time,” Sarge tells them. “All I care about is beating the pants off those boarding school brats!”

“Beat their pants off? That sounds counterproductive,” Donut says.

“Shut up, Donut,” Sarge grunts. “You all need to get back to practicing. Doc, you’re on Red team now.”

“But he was just _in_ Red—”

“Donut!”

“Okay, okay,” he squeaks and pulls his helmet back on.

*

Church slams on the brakes of his car outside of what he assumes is Wash’s house. He’s never been here before, but Tucker told him the address last night. It looks normal enough, but Church knows the inside could be a whole different story. (Tucker’s house looks crappy on the outside, but the inside is warm and cozy.)

There’s a red car in the driveway with a bumper sticker that says Mother of Invention with the mascot at the end. In the picture window an orange cat sits on the back of a couch, staring out at the street. Normally, if it were the weekend, Church would just honk the horn and wait for Wash to come out. But it’s seven in the morning and it looks like his parents are still home.

Church puts the car in park and climbs out, leaves it unlocked and walks up the sidewalk. He knocks on the front door and shoves his hands into his pockets.

“David!” He can just barely hear from inside. Church glances towards the cat in the window. They stare at each other for a few moments.

“Hey, Church,” Wash says, opening the front door and he holds the screen door open for Church to walk through. “We’re almost ready.”

Church raises an eyebrow at that. We’re? Who the hell is here with him?

Wash pads away presumably to put on his shoes and then Tucker appears on the stairs. “Hey, dude.”

“Tucker? What the hell are you doing here?”

“I spent the night?” Tucker says, giving Church a look that clearly says he thinks Church is dumb.

“Oh, you ‘spent the night’.”

“I really spent the night. I don’t know what your problem is.” Tucker crosses his arms. “Mrs. Washington loves me.”

“Wash’s mom let you spend the night?”

“Why is that so hard to believe?” Wash asks, pulling on a jacket as he walks around the corner.

“Because you two are,” he gestures at them.

“We’re what?”

Church frowns. “You know what I mean.”

“I got no idea, dude,” Tucker says. “Let’s go before we’re late for school.”

As he follows Tucker outside, he grumbles to himself. There was only so much denial he could take from those two.

*

Wash ends up in Church’s homeroom and ends up in the seat next to him. Church slams his books down on his desk and glares at the freshman who’s talking to the teacher.

“What the hell is your problem?” Wash asks.

“Homeroom was my sanctuary. Without Caboose or Tucker or Donut. But now you’re here and Doc’s here. And who knows who’s going to be in my homeroom next semester!”

“Aren’t you a senior? And Tucker and Caboose are juniors so they probably won’t be in your homeroom next semester.”

“But now you’re here. That means Tucker’s going to be hanging out in here. And because Tucker’s doing it, Caboose will too. Then this room will be overrun with fucking idiots.”

Wash shrugs. “Wait, who’s Donut?”

Church laughs. “You remember that kid you body-slammed at last year’s match?”

Wash nods.

“That’s Donut. And Doc here is like, his boyfriend or something.”

Doc glances up from the textbook he’s studying and gives a little wave.

*

“Go sit with your own friends!” Grif shouts, glaring at his sister. Kaikaina settles at the table, ignoring her brother, and starts to eat her burger. “Seriously! No one wants you here!”

“Don’t worry, baby, I want you here,” Tucker says, leaning towards Kaikaina. She takes a huge bite and holds up her middle finger.

“Stop that. Don’t embarrass the family,” Grif mutters. He lets his head drop to his folded arms. “It’s the only rule I have.”

“How am I embarrassing the family?” Kaikaina asks. She picks up her fork and stabs one of her tater tots.

“I don’t know. You just are.”

“I’m not a loser like your loser friends. You should be glad that I’m sitting here instead of with my boyfriend. He tries to get his hands in my pants every second we’re together.”

“What!?” Grif shouts. He half raises from the table, before Simmons presses a hand against his shoulder.

“Calm down, man,” Simmons says.

“You need to break up with him. No dating until you’re eighteen!”

“Psh, you wish,” Kaikaina says and rolls her eyes. “I can’t keep dudes away from this.”

She gestures up and down her body. Tucker’s eyes drop below the tabletop and Grif kicks him.

“Dude!”

“Don’t look at my sister like that!”

“Let her speak for herself!”

“She’s fifteen!”

“Uh, what’s going on here?”

Tucker and Grif look up at Wash. He holds a tray of food and looks like he’s about to find another table to sit at.

“Nothing,” Tucker says and shoves the chair next to him out for Wash.

“Who’re you?” Kaikaina asks, eyebrows furrowing. She points at Wash with her fork, tator tot falling off of it.

“I’m Wash.”

“Are you one of those jerks who tells on people?”

“Excuse me?” He gives Tucker a confused look.

“Are you a narc? Because I don’t sit with narcs.”

“He’s not a narc, Sister,” Tucker says. “He’s just a guy.”

She doesn’t look completely convinced, but she says, “I’m Kaikaina but you can call me Kai or Sister. It doesn’t matter.”

“Sister?”

“She’s my sister,” Grif says. “I’m Grif, by the way.”

“I’m Simmons.”

“Church and Caboose have the lunch after us with Doc and Donut,” Tucker says. “Annnnd, here comes Palomo and Jensen.”

“Oh god,” Simmons mutters. His face starts to turn red, matching his red hair nicely.

“Hey, guys! What’s up?” Jensen lisps, giving them all a smile. She pulls out the chair next to Simmons and sits down. “Hi, Sister.”

“Hey, Katie,” Kaikaina says. Jensen places her paperbag lunch on the table.

“Sup, Tucker?” Palomo sits down next to Grif and nods at Tucker. His eyes land on Wash. “Who are you?”

“I’m Wash. I’m new.”

“Cool, man. I’m Charles Palomo.”

“No one cares, Palomo,” Tucker says.

“Whatever, Sister cares, right Kaikaina?”

Kaikaina looks over at Palomo, straight-faced and bored.

“Okay then.”

*

“So Tucker and Wash are dating, right?” Kaikaina asks her brother as they walk towards Grif’s car. Grif shrugs. “Because they really give off the ‘we’re fucking’ vibe.”

“Jesus, Kai.”

“What? They do.”

Grif unlocks his car and Kaikaina tosses her backpack into the backseat. She climbs into the passenger seat and Grif says, “Today was the first time I met Wash, but Tucker talks about him a lot.”

Kaikaina hums in acknowledgment and turns on the radio. “Are we waiting for Simmons?”

Grif nods.

“Speaking of other people who give off the ‘we’re fucking’ vibe,” Kaikaina whispers to herself. Grif glances over at her and glares. “I’m joking. Kind of.”

“I am not interested in Simmons in that way,” Grif tells her. “He’s like my best friend or whatever.”

“Or whatever,” she mouths.

The back car door opens and Simmons falls into the seat, face red. “Jensen is trying to get me to tutor her in algebra!”

“Did you run away from her?” Kaikaina asks, turning in her seat to look at Simmons. He nods.

“Wow, man. This is a new low, even for you, Simmons,” Grif says. He shakes his head.

“Screw you.”

“It’s weird that you can talk to me,” Kaikaina says. “But you fuck up around every other girl.”

“You’re a Grif. You don’t count,” Simmons tells her.

“Bitch, I will show you  just how much I count,” Kaikaina says and starts to climb between the seats to get into the back. Grif grabs her around the waist and pushes her back into the passenger seat.

“Stop embarrassing the family,” Grif mutters.

“You’re embarrassing the family!”

“Oh, great comeback!”

“Can we just go already?” Simmons asks.

Grif puts the key in the ignition and starts the car.

“But seriously, Kai, stop embarrassing the family.”

“Whatever, buttface.”

“Real mature.”


	3. Chapter 3

After school Church carts Tucker, Wash, and Caboose to the paintball arena where they practice at. Sarge is already standing outside the base with his arms crossed. Next to him, Donut and Doc are talking animatedly. He seems to be ignoring them both.

“Well, you must be Wash,” Sarge says. He shakes Wash’s hand. “I’ve heard lots about you, son.”

“Okay,” Wash says hesitantly. He glances over at Church and Tucker.

“Get in there and get your gear on,” Sarge orders. “I’m still waitin’ for Simmons and that no good Grif. He’s always late!”

Inside the base, everyone starts pulling on gear from a row of lockers underneath one of the windows. The room is cold, as there’s no glass in any of the three windows, and no insulation. Wash shivers slightly as he pulls his things out of his bag. Everyone pulls on neutral or camouflage overalls, while donning different colored chest protectors and vests. Tucker’s wearing a bright bluish green while Donut pulls on a pink vest.

“Why are you all wearing different colors?” Wash asks.

“Because we split into two teams to practice,” Doc explains. In his locker, Wash spots a purple vest, but Doc pulls on a red one instead.

“Yeah, and now that you’re here, Doc doesn’t have to switch teams every week,” Donut says. “Obviously, Doc will be on Red team.”

“What? Why do they get Wash?” Simmons asks as he and Grif walk into the base. “Wash is way better than us.”

“Dude, the only kills we ever get is Caboose hitting Church. I think you can afford not to have Wash on your team,” Tucker says.

Caboose looks up at the sound of his name. He has all of his gear on, with his mask pushed up in a way that all his blonde hair sticks up. “That’s not true!”

“Yeah, it fucking is,” Church says.

“Okay, if you break into teams to practice, why don’t you all wear the same shades of the color team you’re on?” Wash asks.

“Because that would be frickin’ lame, dude,” Tucker says. Wash doesn’t respond.

*

Wash lifts his gun and is about to shoot Simmons in the chest when Caboose comes running in from the right.

“Attack!” He yells and starts firing towards Simmons’ hideout.

“Dammit,” Wash mutters. He watches Simmons duck behind an uprooted tree before zigzagging through the arena.

“We really need your help,” Church sys. Wash almost jumps in surprise.

“You’re admitting you guys suck?”

Church glares at him. “I’m admitting Caboose sucks. And Simmons, Grif, and Donut. Tucker’s okay and I don’t think Doc’s ever fired his gun.”

“Don’t believe that motherfucker. He couldn’t hit the side of a house without being two feet away,” Tucker says.

“Seriously, how did you even hear us?” Church demands.

“You guys are good at sneaking up on people, but you should be sneaking up on them!” Wash turns back towards where Simmons had been. He raises his gun and gasps when a paintball hits him in the collarbone, staining it red.

“That’s why you don’t yell, Wash.”

“Yeah, that’s like rule number one,” Tucker says just before he and Church retreat behind a wooden wall.

“Take that, you dumb Blues!” Donut yells and paint splatters on the wall above Tucker’s shoulder.

“Hah! You missed me, Donut!”

Another shot hits Church in the forehead. “Goddammit!”

“Yeah! Suck on that!” Donut raises his arms and shakes his gun above his head.

“I’m not sucking anything,” Tucker spits out and Donut stops celebrating and aims at Tucker again. A paintball hits Tucker in the chest.

Donut runs off in the opposite direction. Tucker and Church slump against the wall and Wash just shakes his head.

*

“So what secrets do you have for us, Wash?” Sarge asks, once everyone’s back in the base.

“Uh,” Wash starts. He glances at Tucker, who just shrugs. “Well, you guys have a lot of work to do. If you ever want to beat anyone, ever. Simmons and Donut, you two actually were able to shoot someone. Caboose, you need to stop yelling. This is more of a game of stealth, not screaming and giving away your position. I didn’t even see Grif or Doc out there. Church needs to work on his aim and Tucker needs to—”

“He meant secrets about MOI!” Tucker cuts him off. He throws his overalls onto the ground and starts scrubbing at the dried paint on his chest piece.

“And those weren’t secrets. Those were just facts,” Simmons points out.

“Shut up, Simmons. Nobody fucking asked you,” Church says. “I have fine aim, thank you very much.”

“Keep telling yourself that, dude.”

“Where were you, Grif? You know the whole point of practice is so that you try to hit the other team! Not hide out somewhere.”

“Excuse you, I was not hiding out.”

“Doc, are you ever going to shoot your gun? Even Donut got two shots today!”

“I’m a pacifist!”

“It’s _paintball!_ ”

“Oh my god, shut up!” Wash shouts. “Is bickering all you do?”

“No, we—”

“Shut up!” Wash repeats. “Stop talking. Church, work on your aim. Caboose, stop screaming and only aim at the opposite team. Grif, stop hiding. Doc, it’s paintball not war. Using your paintball gun isn’t against pacifism. Donut and Simmons, you were actually pretty good out there. Tucker, I didn’t really see you do anything, so? Uh, work on your aim.”

“Just because you were on the MOI team doesn’t mean you can come over here and take control of my team,” Sarge says.

“Didn’t you want me to help you guys? This is how I can help you. Mother of Invention’s only secret is that they’re way better than you guys.”

“Oh, screw you,” Church says.

“I’m just trying to help.”

“Help nicer!” Caboose says.

“I hate to say it, but Caboose is right,” Simmons says.

Wash sighs. “I’m not trying to be mean. I’m just trying to help you get better. Don’t you want to beat MOI?”

“We’d like to beat any team,” Grif says.

“But Mother of Invention is the one we want to beat the most,” Simmons says. The others nod.

“Then I’m glad we’re in agreement. Because there’s nothing I want more than to beat MOI.”

*

“Yesterday, we worked on how not to kill your teammates,” Wash says, eyes fixed on Caboose. “Today, we’re going to work on how to properly shoot your gun.”

“Some of us don’t need this practice,” Simmons says. Wash turns to look at him.

“How often do you actually hit your target?”

“Uh.”

“That’s what I thought. Now, you all have motorized hoppers, so you shouldn’t have to shake your gun to get the balls to fall down into the gun.”

Caboose raises his hand high. “I do not have a motorized hopper.”

“Dammit, Caboose. I told you to upgrade!” Church exclaims.

“This is an upgrade. It’s new.”

“No, dumbass. A motorized hopper would be an upgrade. You just got a new gravity-fed hopper. That’s not an upgrade!”

“It doesn’t matter!” Wash says. “Now, yesterday I told you guys not to aim your guns at anyone if you don’t mean to shoot them. So don’t do that. And don’t aim your gun at teammates, just like I said yesterday.”

Tucker groans. “Get to the new info already, jeez.”

“Shut up, Tucker. Okay, so you all know how to use your guns properly. You just need lots of target practice.” Wash glances over at Church. “And possibly glasses.”

“What’d you say, motherfucker?”

“Your aim sucks is what he’s saying,” Grif says.

“I fucking hate you guys.”

“Same,” Tucker says.

*

“Hey, you want to go to Peggy’s for dinner?” Tucker asks as he and Wash walk side by side out to his car. Behind them, Church laughs. Tucker glances behind himself and his brow furrows. Doc and Donut are holding hands, as they usually do, but now they’re looking at Tucker like he’s a small animal or child.

“Who’s Peggy?” Wash asks.

“It’s a diner. How have you never been to Peggy’s?” Tucker asks. “We have to go to Peggy’s now.”

Grif snorts. “Have fun, guys.”

“Yeah, have fun on your date, guys,” Church says. He unlocks his car and Caboose climbs into the passenger side.

“Who said anything about a date?” Tucker demands.

Donut grins at him. “Doc and I went to Peggy’s on our second date! We had a really great time.”

“The food was delicious,” Doc says.

“That’s not all that was delicious,” Donut replies and winks.

“Oh, god, stop,” Tucker mutters. He looks over at Wash. “Whatever, Peggy’s has good food.”

“It’s fine with me,” Wash says.

Church gets into his car and glances at Caboose. “So you think Wash and Tucker are dating, right?”

“Haven’t they always been dating?” Caboose asks.

Church laughs and starts the engine.

*

Walking through the cereal aisle, Church reads the text message his mother sent him earlier. She had sent him a short list of things she wanted him to pick up at the grocery store. He grabs a box of Cheerios and sees Carolina storming past the cereal aisle. Her red hair billows out behind her and her fists are clenched.

Church jogs down the aisle and spots her on the next one, angrily grabbing a box of macaroni. She turns around and stops in her tracks.

“Hey,” Church says. “What’s up?”

“Our father is a complete dickhead,” she says.

“Uh, you’re just figuring that out now?”

“I’ve lived with him my whole life. I’m accustomed to his bullshit. But this takes the cake. Like seriously, Church, I’m going to run away.”

Church frowns. “What happened?”

“I was talking to him about college and then he just said ‘what do you need college for? You’re going into the military’. He’s not even giving me a choice!”

Carolina crosses her arms and glares past Church. He turns around and watches as the headmaster walks towards them. Church doesn’t know too much about his father, only that he left Church’s mother while she was pregnant and married another woman and less than a year later, Carolina was born. He also knows his father’s a giant asshole.

“Hello, Leonard,” the headmaster says. His face is completely blank and Church thinks that disturbs him more than if the man was yelling and throwing punches.

“Hello,” Church says. He glances at Carolina. “Well, I’ve gotta go. I’ll see you around, Carolina.”

“Sure,” she says, still staring down her father.

Church edges around them and nearly runs for the checkouts.

*

Tucker parks the car and turns to look at Wash. The diner is full of couples. Next to the door, there’s a big pink heart that says ‘Sweetest Day’.

“I didn’t know it was Sweetest Day,” Tucker says.

“I’ve never paid attention to Sweetest Day,” Wash tells him. “Let’s just go in. I’m hungry.”

Tucker nods and they both climb out of the car. He walks slightly ahead of Wash and opens the door for him, not thinking much of it. They stand by the front door for a few moments before a waitress comes up to them.

“Welcome to Peggy’s! Just two?” She asks. It’s a dumb question, Wash thinks, because there are only booths in this place. It’s not like she needs to know how many chairs they need.

“Yeah,” Tucker says. He pulls off his jacket as they follow the waitress towards a booth that is almost smack dab in the middle of the restaurant. They both hang up their jackets before they sit down. Tucker grabs two menus and slides one across the table to Wash.

Wash hums and flicks a finger at the little heart decorations sitting on the table. “Isn’t Valentine’s Day enough? Why is there a Sweetest Day too?”

Tucker shrugs. He opens the menu and says, “So I’m having a BLT.”

“That’s what you always have, isn’t it?”

Tucker nods.

“You should try something different,” Wash tells him. “Who knows what you could be missing out on.”

“Yeah, I mean,” Tucker starts. He reaches up and tightens the band holding his dreads back. Wash looks up at him without tilting his head up. Tucker fidgets in his seat.

“I didn’t mean—”

“My name’s Sheila. What can I get you boys tonight?”

“Uh,” Tucker says.

“How about we just start with drinks and I can give you some time to make your decision?”

“Alright, I’ll have a coke.”

“Water,” Wash says.

Sheila nods and walks back into the kitchen.

“What were you saying?” Tucker asks. Wash shakes his head.

“Nevermind.”

Tucker shrugs and looks back at the menu. “I guess I’ll go with something different.”

Wash smiles and says, “I’m going to get the BLT.”

“You motherfucker.”

Wash laughs.

“You’re pulling some ‘do as I say, not as I do’ bullshit.”

“I’m not the one who orders the BLT every time they come here,” Wash tells him. “But do what you want, Tucker.”

“Yeah,” Tucker says. His eyes are focused on the menu, but Wash can tell by the breathy way he spoke, he’s not really thinking about dinner. Wash’s phone starts to buzz in his pocket, breaking his concentration on Tucker. He slouches in his seat slightly, to pull the phone out.

“Okay, North and York both just texted me like five times in a row,” Wash says. He unlocks his phone and opens the group message from them both.

“’Bout what?”

“Some guys who graduated last year are throwing a party next weekend. I guess it’s supposed to be awesome or something,” Wash tells him. “But these guys are kind of predators.”

“Predators? Like they want to kill someone or like violate them? Because neither is cool.”

“Both, probably. They’re kind of creepy guys. Felix is way too cheery about violent stuff and Locus is just intimidating. He’s in the military, but he won’t say what branch,” he explains. “But from North and York’s conversation, their parties are great. Lots of alcohol and college kids.”

“So... you’re going right?”

Wash raises an eyebrow. “Wasn’t really planning on it.”

“We’re totally going. It sounds frickin’ awesome, dude.”

“Sure, Tucker,” Wash says. “Sounds awesome.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this was a later than I intended. I got distracted with holidays and work. 
> 
> Also ignore the fact that Sweetest Day is in October and I hadn't heard of it until I moved to Ohio.


End file.
